Calling Out:
- When we need to let someone know that their words or actions are unacceptable and will not be tolerated
- When we need to interrupt in order to prevent further harm
- Will likely feel hard and uncomfortable, but necessary
- Allows us to hit the “pause” button and break the momentum
Try these:
- Wow. Nope. Ouch. I need to stop you right there.
- That word/comment is really triggering and offensive. Be mindful and pick a different word.
- I need to push back against that. I disagree. I don’t see it that way.
- Okay, I am having a strong reaction to that and I need to let you know why.
- I don’t find that funny. Tell me why that’s funny to you.
- I wonder if you’ve considered the impact of your words.
- Hmmm.. maybe you want to think this one through a bit more and speak about it later.
- I need you to know how your comment just landed on me.
- That’s not our culture here. Those aren’t our values.
- Is sex/gender/gender identity/gender expression/race/class/ ethnicity/religion/ability/ immigration status/ body type/ marital status/ age/ pregnancy relevant to your point? How?
- It sounded like you just said _______. Is that really what you meant?
- I feel obligated as your peer/colleague/co-worker /friend/supervisor to tell you that your comment wasn’t okay.
- It sounds like you’re making some assumptions that we need to unpack a bit.
- You may or may not realize this, but you’re talking about me/my story/my identity markers.
- I need to leave the room if the conversation is going to continue down this road.
Remember, it is a powerful thing for the target of oppression to hear these words from the mouth of an ally!
Adapted from Oregon Center for Educational Equity: What Did You Just Say? Responses to Racist Comments Collected from the Field
http://www.racialequityvtnea.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Interrupting-Bias_-Calling-Out-vs.-Calling-In-REVISED-Aug-2018-1.pdf